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Posts from the ‘Dialogue in fiction’ Category

Writing Good Dialogue For Your Novel, by Lish McBride

There’s a fine line that you have to tread when you’re creating dialogue. You have to manage to write words that sound natural and normal coming out of your character’s mouths while at the same time crafting them to sound better than most conversations. I’ve been told that I write good dialogue. I don’t know if that’s true. I’m obviously biased in my own favor. I’m told that it’s witty and fun and I feel like I’m cheating, because honestly I’m surrounded by witty and fun people and I feel like I’m just reflecting that. Let’s say that you’re not lucky, though, and the people you’re surrounded by are less like Oscar Wilde and more like something that has crawled out of a cave. What then?

First, even cave-speak has it’s place. Not all of your characters are going to be into banter and witticisms. Some are naturally the straight man, only uttering monosyllabic responses and using hand gestures. That’s okay. That’s one of my big things—make the words fit the character. Sometimes I’ll get edits that will say, “I don’t think Sam would ever say this.” Believe it or not, I love those edits. It means my character has become such a living force that my editor is arguing about words that I have made up for them. She can tell when they don’t fit his mouth. It makes me do a happy jig.

Dialogue should be multipurpose. It should advance plot, naturally, but it should also tell us about your characters. It should not, however, be used as a plot-info dump. That’s the difference between this:

“I don’t need your weapon, I have this,” she said, raising an ancient sword.

“Where did you get that?” he growled. “Give it back. Now.”

And this:

“I do not need your weapon, because I stole this one from your house about five minutes ago,” she said.

“I recognize that sword! It is the magical sword from the house of Usher, the one my family has been protecting for generations. It can only be wielded by the chosen one! You are wielding it, so you must be the chosen one, though I cannot believe such a thing right away. You are going to have to prove it.”

Neither of these are the best examples of dialogue, but I think you get the picture. Info dumping is clunky. So is not using contractions. If you don’t use a contraction, it should for a good reason. Same thing goes for slang and dialect—there should be a very good reason to use either. Both dialect and slang can be a good world-building tool when used properly. In Tamora Pierce’s Beka Cooper series, she uses a few slang words like cove, looby and so on. They aren’t over used and it’s clear from context what they mean. It doesn’t stop or slow down the reader, and builds Beka’s character and world at the same time. How? When we meet the upper classes, they don’t use these words, so we know where Beka sits on the class spectrum by using them.

Overuse can be distracting, though. If people can’t read your book or understand anything going on, they put it down.

So how do you gain an ear for dialogue? Well, I can give you some hints. Listen. A lot. Go to a coffee shop and be creepy and eavesdrop on conversations. Write down interesting things that people say. What makes them interesting? If they say boring things, how can you use those lines to make something interesting? Take some dialogue you’re having a hard time with and read it out loud. Does it sound natural? If that doesn’t work, have someone else read it out loud. Watch movies and read books that you love—how do those characters talk? Listen to word choice and pacing. Using actions and description to break up dialogue can create the pacing that you want.


“Man, I love pie. Pie is the best. I could eat pie forever. What kind of pie is this? I think it has berries.”


“Man, I love pie,” he said, licking his fork. “Pie is the best. I could eat pie forever.” He stabbed something blue with his fork and examined it. “What kind of pie is this?” He stared at the blue glob some more. “I think it has berries.”

The actions and description give the dialogue pauses and slows it down naturally. Also, now I want pie, just maybe not the one I just described.

Homework: Write some really horrible dialogue. I mean really try to make it the worst conversation you’ve ever written. Consciously writing bad dialogue is harder than you think (though we all seem to manage to write it unconsciously quite easily!). Have fun with it. When you’re done, examine it. What makes it terrible? Word use? Too many words? Not enough? Does it reveal anything about the characters? Now take the same dialogue and try to write it well. What’s changed?


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Writing Teen Novels

Writing Dialogue In Teen Novels, by Laurie Faria Stolarz

I love writing dialogue and spend a great deal of time trying to get it right to make my characters sound like real teens.  I watch TV shows targeted to teens, eavesdrop on their conversations, read teen books and magazines, listen to the audio version of teen books, etc. – all in an effort to perfect the art of teen-speak.  While teen-speech (or any speech, for that matter) can be sloppy – people leave out words, compress phases into single words, use contractions and habitual phrases, make mistakes, etc., etc. – dialogue is highly planned.  Every line must have purpose and reason.  Just like a film gives the illusion of motion, dialogue gives the illusion of conversation, but it isn’t real.  It appears spontaneous, but it’s planned.  It appears chaotic and unexpected, but it’s reasoned and highly controlled.  Characters must have a reason for talking.  We may have to put up with real people who talk about nothing, but we don’t have to put up with characters who do the same.  I used to teach an online workshop with fellow author Lara Zeises.  Here are some of the dialogue rules that we created.

Dialogue should fulfill the following roles in the manuscript:

1) advance the plot

2) reveal character

3) reveal motivation

4) substitute narrative and

5) establish tone or mood.

If the dialogue doesn’t fill one of these criteria, then it probably can be removed without adversely affecting the story.

Some common mistakes

1. Overusing synonyms for the word “said” (cried, howled, bellowed, whispered, stated, replied, voiced, expressed, vented, responded, uttered, shouted, vocalized, asserted, declared…) – most readers don’t register the word “said”, so when you do use a special tag like “whispered” it really stands out.

2. Being too true to the way people speak (adding “um”, “like”, etc.) – unless adding an occasion or two of “like” really fits the character’s voice in a particular situation.

3. Using too much dialect.

4. Sounding too stilted or formal.

5. Using people’s names too often in conversations.

6. Losing track of who said what (that’s what speech tags are for!).

7. Unclear pronoun references (If there are three men in a room and you say “he,” which “he” are you referring to?).

8. Conversations where characters tell each other what they already know.

9. Having a character talk about things they wouldn’t normally discuss.

10. Long, boring speeches to provide information to the reader.  Show versus tell applies to dialogue as well as narrative.  Having a character tell something is still telling.

11. Busywork (when a character answers the phone, don’t have them say, “Hello”, “How are you?” etc – jump into the meat of the conversation.

12. Making all characters sound alike (or worse, making all of the characters sound just like YOU).


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Writing Teen Novels

Writing Dialogue In Novels, by Monika Schroder

Beginning writers are tempted to copy how real people talk. Dialogue in fiction is more than just a conversation between the people in the book. It serves many purposes. It moves the plot along, reveals character and improves pacing.

Good dialogue is reminiscent of the way people actually talk, but it shouldn’t exactly sound like it. Yes, you should listen to people’s conversation and notice phrases, diction and expressions used. Carry your notebook and write down slang or funny sayings. You might be able to pepper your character’s speech with these things. Pay attention to the way people interrupt each other or hide their true feelings with what they say. Be careful not to just imitate real conversations. In reality people meander and go off on tangents. They add one association to another and wander all over the place. The dialogue in your story has to have a focus and function in your story.

Dialogue is also a perfect place to employ the old rule of ‘show, don’t tell’. If a character is a bully it will show in his manner of speech. If he is boisterous or shy, it will be depicted in his way of speaking. What a person says and how he or she says it expresses personality.

Start a new chapter or scene with a conversation between two people. The conversation can indicate what happened between the end of the last chapter or scene and the beginning of the new, and thereby letting time pass and move the plot forward. Dialogue can also fill the reader in on what occurred in another setting or in a subplot of the story.

However, it is tempting to use direct speech to explain too much. Doing this leads to clumsy dialogue that stands out as unnatural and awkward:
“Some authors overdo it,” he called out, taking her hand and focusing on her hazel-colored eyes. “They add action description in the middle of their direct speech.” He shook his head and sighed. “It breaks up the pacing,” he said. “It’s just not a good idea.”

Using action in the midst of a line of dialogue has its place sometimes but it’s usually best done precisely and sparingly. Otherwise you slow down the movement of the scene.

When I visit schools I still see posters with “Verbs to replace ‘say’” on classroom walls. I wish teachers would stop with that practice. Attributions after dialogue should not draw attention to themselves. “Said” or “asked” suffice in most instances. If possible, let the reader infer who is speaking from context.

Great dialogue works on many levels. It needs to be concise and cut down to the best lines only. How do you know you have it right? You do it the same way you test all other parts of your text: leave your work-in-progress alone for a while and come back to it after a few days. Re-read. If it sounds good, it probably is. If it sounds trite or artificial, revise.


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Writing Teen Novels

Writing Dialogue In Novels, by Carolyn Meyer

Your characters are center stage, and they’re talking.

Dialogue, and lots of it, is one of the key components of teen fiction, whether the novel is historical or contemporary. It’s a critical part of a scene and reinforces voice. You probably know browsers who open a book, perhaps attracted by the clever cover or the author’s name, and flip through the pages to check on the amount of dialogue: too little talk and the text appears dense, and the book goes back on the shelf.

Dialogue on the page is more concise than actual conversation. It doesn’t ramble, it reveals character and it moves the story forward. Usually you need do little more than to identify the speakers at the beginning: “he said” or “she said” will do it. You can vary that with words like barked, screamed, whispered, exclaimed or shouted. Modifiers, like loudly or excitedly, are usually unnecessary.

A variation on dialogue is interior monologue, in which the main character thinks to herself or imagines a conversation with another character in which the main character takes both sides. Here’s an example from a novel in my contemporary Hotline series, with the interior monologue set in italics:

Lissa is dead, Jenny thought, letting the water stream down over her face. She’s dead and I’ll never see her again. Jenny worked shampoo into her hair. But she can’t be dead. I can’t believe it. I won’t believe it.

Dialogue can also play a major part in flashbacks, animating material that falls outside the time frame of the narrative, as when Jenny, out of the shower, remembers a conversation she had with Lissa the previous day, before the novel begins.

By all means avoid the “info dump”, using dialogue as a means to convey information. This is a common trap, which I fell into in Cleopatra Confesses. Cleopatra confides to a friend that she dreams of becoming Caesar’s wife, but she is already married to her younger brother (common among the pharaohs).

Her friend reminds her of Caesar’s complicated marital life, and Cleopatra replies, “You are right – he has a wife in Rome. Her name is Calpurnia. His first wife, Cornelia, bore him his only child, Julia, and both are dead. He divorced his second wife, Pompeia, when he suspected her of adultery.” Cleopatra goes on to talk about the need for Caesar’s wife to be above reproach, and Caesar’s disappointment that Calpurnia is barren and has given him no children. This is all necessary information, but it should have been conveyed in some other way, perhaps an interior monologue in which Cleopatra considers the situation. It’s also a clunky paragraph. (A critical reviewer pounced on my lapse.)

Here’s an exercise that develops dialogue skills and produces interesting and sometimes hilarious results in a writing group or a class. Provide one provocative line of dialogue (Example: “I told you not to open that!”) and write nothing but dialogue for twenty minutes – no description, no set-up and only an occasional “he said/she said” is allowed.

Dialogue is an indispensable skill when you’re writing for teens. If your characters are on stage, get them talking and make the most of it.


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Writing Teen Novels


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